Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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