i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
