Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
