I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize