I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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