Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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