hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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