He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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