You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
