I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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