Screwed.edu
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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