Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
