the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
