Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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