I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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