Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
