saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
