batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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