I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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