that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
