i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
