Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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