sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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