Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize