Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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