I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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