my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
