bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
