question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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