would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
