I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
