I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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