I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
