Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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