Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
