We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
