So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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