So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Vodka?
Forever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
