i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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