ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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