We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
