Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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