you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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