some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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