If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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