Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
