I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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