dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize