new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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