bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
