Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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