in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
honey bunches of taint.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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