I don't think brook has ever known best
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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