at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
