woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
