You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
