if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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