i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize